Family & Relationships
Japanese uses different words for family members depending on whose family you're talking about and how formal the situation is.
When speaking to teachers, bosses, strangers, or in any formal setting, use humble forms (父, 母, 兄, etc.) to refer to your own family. Using the honorific forms here would sound like you're elevating your own family, which is inappropriate in Japanese social norms.
Examples
- My father works at a bank.
父は銀行に勤めています。
- This is a cake my mother made.
母が作ったケーキです。
- My older brother is getting married next year.
兄は来年結婚します。
In everyday conversation with close friends, it's perfectly natural to use お父さん / お母さん / お兄ちゃん when talking about your own family. The strict humble forms (父 / 母 / 兄) can sound stiff in casual contexts. You'll often hear うちの (my family's) paired with the honorific form.
Examples
- My dad is strict, you know.
うちのお父さん、厳しいんだよ。
- I'll ask my mom.
お母さんに聞いてみる。
- My big brother bought it for me.
お兄ちゃんが買ってくれた。
When referring to someone else's family members, always use honorific forms (お父さん, お母さん, etc.). This applies regardless of formality — even in casual speech, you use these forms for other people's families.
Examples
- Is your father well?
お父さんはお元気ですか。
- What does your older sister do?
お姉さんは何をしていますか。
- How old is your child?
お子さんはおいくつですか。
When speaking directly to your own family elders, use the honorific form as a form of address. You would not call your own father 父 (ちち) to his face — that's only for talking *about* him to outsiders.
In casual family settings, shortened or childlike forms are common: パパ / ママ (Papa / Mama), おばあちゃん instead of おばあさん, お兄ちゃん instead of お兄さん, etc.
Examples
- Dad, what time are you coming home tomorrow?
お父さん、明日何時に帰る？
- Mom, is dinner ready yet?
お母さん、ご飯まだ？
- Grandma, eat this.
おばあちゃん、これ食べて。
Japanese has several words for 'husband' and 'wife,' each with a different feel:
- 夫 (おっと) — neutral and modern, the safest choice in formal settings
- 主人 (しゅじん) — traditional but literally means 'master,' so some find it outdated
- 旦那 (だんな) — casual and common among friends (うちの旦那)
- 妻 (つま) — neutral and modern
- 家内 (かない) — literally means 'inside the house,' feels dated to many
- 嫁 (よめ) — casual and widely used, though it originally means 'bride' or 'daughter-in-law'
Examples
- My husband is on a business trip. (neutral/formal)
夫は出張中です。
- My hubby made it for me. (casual)
うちの旦那が作ってくれた。
- My wife is a doctor. (neutral/formal)
妻は医者です。
- My wife's a great cook, you know. (casual)
うちの嫁、料理うまいんだよ。
兄弟 (きょうだい) literally means 'brothers,' but in everyday Japanese it's used as a general word for siblings — brothers, sisters, or a mix. If someone asks 兄弟はいますか, they're asking about all your siblings, not just brothers.
姉妹 (しまい) specifically means 'sisters.' It's only used when all siblings being referred to are female.
兄弟姉妹 (きょうだいしまい) is the explicit 'brothers and sisters' form, but it's mostly seen in formal or written contexts. In conversation, 兄弟 alone covers it.
Examples
- Do you have any siblings?
兄弟はいますか。
- There are three of us (siblings).
三人兄弟です。
- The sisters went on a trip together.
姉妹で旅行に行った。
- There are five siblings in total.
兄弟姉妹は全部で五人です。