Giving & Receiving
Learn the Japanese system for giving and receiving — both objects and actions — with あげる, くれる, もらう and their te-form combinations.
Giving & Receiving
Japanese has three verbs where English uses two. English has 'give' and 'receive,' but Japanese splits 'give' into あげる (give away from the speaker's perspective) and くれる (give toward the speaker). This three-way system is one of the most distinctive features of Japanese grammar.
The key principle is speaker-centered perspective: every giving/receiving sentence is framed from the speaker's point of view. あげる moves a favor outward; くれる moves a favor inward (toward the speaker or the speaker's in-group); もらう receives a favor.
These three verbs also combine with the te-form to describe doing actions for someone: てあげる (do something for someone), てくれる (someone does something for me), てもらう (get someone to do something). This te-form usage is extremely common in daily Japanese.
あげる is used when the speaker (or someone in the speaker's group) gives to someone else, or when a third person gives to another third person. The favor flows away from the speaker.
[giver] が [receiver] に [object] を あげる
- 私が友達にあげる (I give to my friend)
- 姉が弟にあげる (my sister gives to my brother)
- 田中さんが山田さんにあげる (Tanaka gives to Yamada)
あげる implies the giver is doing something nice. It carries a sense of benevolence — the giver is bestowing a favor.
The humble form is 差し上げる (さしあげる), used when giving to a social superior.
Examples
- I gave a book to my friend.
友達に本をあげました。
- I gave flowers for Mother's Day.
母の日に花をあげた。
- I plan to give her a present.
彼女にプレゼントをあげるつもりです。
- Please give the dog some food.
犬にえさをあげてください。
くれる is used when someone gives to the speaker, or to someone in the speaker's in-group (family, close friends). The favor flows toward the speaker.
[giver] が [speaker/in-group] に [object] を くれる
- 友達が私にくれる (my friend gives to me)
- 先生が息子にくれた (the teacher gave to my son)
くれる inherently expresses gratitude — by choosing くれる, you acknowledge the giver's kindness. This is why くれる feels warmer than あげる.
Key rule: the receiver of くれる is always the speaker or someone close to the speaker. You cannot say ×私が友達にくれた — that would need あげた.
The honorific form is くださる, used when a social superior gives to you: 先生がくださった.
Examples
- My friend gave me a book.
友達が本をくれました。
- My mother made a cake for my birthday.
母が誕生日にケーキを作ってくれた。
- My senpai gave me good advice.
先輩がいいアドバイスをくれた。
- Who gave you this chocolate?
誰がこのチョコレートをくれたの？
もらう is used when the speaker (or in-group) receives from someone. It describes the same event as くれる but from the receiver's perspective.
[receiver] が [giver] に/から [object] を もらう
- 私が友達にもらう (I receive from my friend)
- 弟が先生からもらった (my brother received from the teacher)
- 友達がくれた (my friend gave it to me — emphasis on the friend's action)
- 友達にもらった (I got it from my friend — emphasis on my receiving)
The humble form is いただく, used when receiving from a social superior: 先生にいただいた.
Examples
- I received a book from my friend.
友達に本をもらいました。
- I got a lot of presents for my birthday.
誕生日にたくさんプレゼントをもらった。
- I got a good grade from the teacher.
先生にいい成績をもらった。
- Did you get a message from him?
彼からメッセージをもらいましたか。
Attach てあげる to the te-form of a verb to express doing an action as a favor for someone. The favor flows outward from the speaker.
[te-form] + あげる
- 教えてあげる (teach for someone)
- 持ってあげる (carry for someone)
- 送ってあげる (take/escort someone)
The recipient is marked with に: 弟に教えてあげた (taught my brother).
Like あげる with objects, てあげる emphasizes benevolence. Use it when talking about what you did for others in storytelling, but be cautious when offering directly — てあげましょうか can sound patronizing. ましょうか is often safer.
Examples
- I taught my brother kanji.
弟に漢字を教えてあげた。
- I carried the elderly woman's luggage.
おばあさんの荷物を持ってあげました。
- I took my friend to the station.
友達を駅まで送ってあげた。
- Shall I take a photo for you?
写真を撮ってあげましょうか。
Attach てくれる to the te-form to express someone doing an action for the speaker's benefit. The favor flows toward the speaker.
[te-form] + くれる
- 手伝ってくれる (help me)
- 作ってくれる (make for me)
- 説明してくれる (explain for me)
- 友達が説明した (my friend explained) — neutral
- 友達が説明してくれた (my friend explained *for me*) — grateful
てくれる is also the basis for polite requests: てくれる？ (casual) and てくれませんか (polite) mean 'could you do this for me?'
Examples
- My friend helped me with my homework.
友達が宿題を手伝ってくれた。
- My mother makes bento for me.
母が弁当を作ってくれます。
- The teacher explained it in an easy-to-understand way.
先生が分かりやすく説明してくれた。
- It started raining, so they lent me an umbrella.
雨が降ってきたので、傘を貸してくれた。
Attach てもらう to the te-form to express getting someone to do an action for you. The speaker is the beneficiary.
[person] に + [te-form] + もらう
- 友達に教えてもらう (get a friend to teach me)
- 美容師に切ってもらう (get the hairdresser to cut it)
- 先輩に見てもらう (get my senpai to look at it)
- 教えてくれた (they taught me — they offered)
- 教えてもらった (I got them to teach me — I sought it)
This pattern is extremely useful for requests: てもらえますか (could I get you to...?) is a polite and natural way to ask for help.
Examples
- I had my friend teach me Japanese.
友達に日本語を教えてもらった。
- I had the hairdresser cut my hair.
美容師に髪を切ってもらいました。
- I had my senpai look at my report.
先輩にレポートを見てもらった。
- Could you help me for a moment?
ちょっと手伝ってもらえますか。
Each verb has honorific and humble equivalents for formal situations:
- あげる → humble: 差し上げる (さしあげる)
- くれる → honorific: くださる
- もらう → humble: いただく
- てあげる → てさしあげる (I do for a superior)
- てくれる → てくださる (a superior does for me)
- てもらう → ていただく (I receive from a superior)
- てくださいませんか (would you kindly...?)
- ていただけますか / ていただけませんか (could I possibly have you...?) — the most polite request form in standard Japanese.
Examples
- I gave a souvenir to the teacher.
先生にお土産を差し上げました。
- The company president gave us sweets.
社長がお菓子をくださいました。
- I had the teacher write a recommendation letter.
先生に推薦状を書いていただきました。
- The department head helped with the project.
部長がプロジェクトを手伝ってくださった。